I think this brings laziness to a whole new level. I have no problem with fake Christmas trees or going to the Lowe's down the street to buy a real one. But purchasing a tree online? Really? So I thought I'd give a tutorial on purchasing a real live Christmas tree...it requires putting away your computer and your iPhone and leaving your house. So bundle up and get ready for some real fun!
First, find a Christmas tree farm and bring a friend along to help you find the perfect tree. This friend should ideally have had a bathroom break BEFORE the hunt for the perfect Christmas tree begins.
Your tree should be an ideal height for your home and should look good from all four sides. You must walk completely around the tree to determine if it is good enough for your type-A personality wife. Once you finally find your tree...CELEBRATE!! And get out the saw that you brought with you or that was provided to you by the tree farm. 
Or...you can pretend like you don't need the saw and try to use sheer strength to remove the tree from the ground...
After you get tired, use the saw to cut down your tree. 
Next, find a strong, muscular man to help you carry the tree to your car. It helps if he is also very handsome!
The strong, muscular, handsome man should also be tall so that he can tie the tree to your car. That way you can sit inside the car eating a candy cane with the heater on. 
After you get home, find a perfect place for the tree in your house. Placing it in the stand before cutting the ties is always a smart idea...
Find your friend again to help you untangle the lights for the tree. 
Finally, enjoy your tree and explain to your friend that her tail might knock the tree over if she gets too close. 
Merry Christmas from the Kvasnickas!
I LOVE IT!! Thanks for the laugh and the adorable shots of your precious belly =) MISS YOU!
ReplyDelete