Family of Four

So...in case you don't follow me on Instagram or Facebook...here is our big news!! 

We are humbled and thankful and just in awe of the fact that God is adding another life to our family. We found out that I was pregnant super early...like as early as those home pregnancy tests will even work. And we told our families at Christmas because no matter how early it is, how can you spend a whole week with family and not have this come up? I feel like we have known FOREVER! 

Here is our little guy or gal at 8 weeks. We got to see the heart beating and received lots of reassurance that everything looked great. We didn't have any of this with Logan. Our doctor in New York didn't even look for anything at the 8 week appt...so it was really fun to see such an early picture this time.

Despite the reassurance, I have found that I have been much more anxious about this pregnancy. When we found out that we were having Logan, I don't think it really, truly ever occurred to me that anything could go wrong. I think I was naive, but also that God was protecting my heart in order to increase my joy. We, of course, are filled with joy about this new little life that will be joining us in September. But in truth, battling against my anxiety has been a big part of this pregnancy so far. It's a daily prayer...a daily conversation between me and Jesus. And that increases joy too.

One thing that has brought so much joy, maybe even more than I expected, is a gift that my friend Emily gave to me when I told her I was pregnant about a month ago. (She already had the gift with her before I even told her...what a precious friend!) These are Pregnancy Prayer cards by Better Life Bags and they are the most precious, sweetest thing to have when you're expecting a new little one. There is a new card each week that describes some aspect of development occurring at that time, as well as ways to pray for that physical feature and scripture to back it up. 

This week...week 13 says that "Baby is practicing breathing. It suggests to "pray that she will allow God to breathe the breath of life into her as she grows and that she will, in turn, use her breath to praise God!" Then it references 
Job 33:4- "The Spirit of God has made me; the breath of the Almighty gives me life" and 
Psalm 150:6- "Let everything that has breath praise the Lord."

These have changed the way that we pray for Logan as well. They can certainly be easily applied to children who are already born and walking around with us. (Photo from Logan's 2 year Well visit- he wanted to show his doctor his boots so he put them back on himself...on the wrong feet)

I have felt a strong conviction and a heavy heart for those of you who may be reading this who are struggling to grow your families. I went back and forth about even making a facebook "announcement" because I certainly don't want to cause further pain to any person walking through a struggle. I decided that I would, mainly because there are lots of people in different parts of the country who I wanted them to know our news. In no way would I ever want to hurt someone through my own celebration. To whoever you are, I hope and pray that God gives you the desire of your heart. That you will feel his peace as you experience the pain of living in a broken and imperfect world. Your babies, the ones you've lost or the ones you have not yet conceived, they matter...a lot. They are real babies with real souls and you are a blessing in that you rejoice, mourn, remember and plead for them. I pray that you have someone walking through life with you...someone to love you and cry with you and cook you a meal and tell you that it IS a big deal. My story of loss is here.

So for the sake of remembering later, this pregnancy has been really different than my first, which makes us very suspicious that it may just be a little girl in there. I've craved all kinds of horrible things that you're only supposed to eat on special occasions, specifically Sonic cheeseburgers, ice cream floats, pepperoni pizza, fried chicken, chips and queso, Butterfingers, basically any cheese...yikes!! I mean, seriously, these are all things that I normally eat like once a year. I haven't really had any food aversions like I did with Logan, but I have certainly been nauseated and sick a lot. And I just don't remember being sick very much (if at all) with Logan. 

I've been super moody...just ask my husband (or don't, because he may give you more details then I'm prepared to admit). And up until this week, I napped during Logan's entire nap...like 2 hours each day and then slept a full night. That equals like 10 hours of sleep every 24 hours. I am crossing my fingers that I'm coming out of it because I have been sick a lot less and haven't needed a nap in the past 2 days. (I know that is so pathetic sounding to anyone reading this). But I feel like I can finally do things again, like write a blog, clean the bathroom or have a quiet time. I officially gained 3 pounds in the first trimester, but I know I've eaten super unhealthy and deserve to have gained more. 

Ok...I think that's everything that you're supposed to write down and if you made it to the end, I am impressed. We are so thrilled to be on this journey again. We think Logan is going to be a great big brother and we're excited and nervous about the change of going from one kid to two. Thanks for reading and being a part of this journey with us!