A Good Southern Woman

I remember our move across the country like it was yesterday. I remember feeling a lot of contradicting emotions - fear and excitement were the main ones, but there was some dread, some relief, some anger and some happiness. It was confusing,and felt much like a whirlwind. One of the things I worried about was "changing". It's a silly thing to worry about, because over each year, we all change. We should. We should grow and learn. We should not stay the same.

I think as much as we talk about finding our identity in Christ, it's very hard to do that exclusively. There's a whole list of things that I identify with or feel as if they describe me on the left side of my blog. I imagine that each person in the world has a list that describes them as well. I'm not saying that we shouldn't find our identity in Christ, we should. But we were created with certain affections, individual interests and specific quirks. Each of us is a masterpiece created specifically by God, not thrown together half-heartedly and definitely not evolved out of something less.

One of the things that God created me with was a strong affection for the South. I am thankful for this and it was one thing that I didn't want to change when we moved. I think after living in the Northeast it has changed...it has grown stronger. So I thought I'd share some tips about how to remain "Southern" while living in the Northeast. It's not hard when many of these things are a way of life that you've always known, but some of them stand out as very counter-cultural in the Northeast.

1. Do favors...Help people move, give people rides home, cook meals for people. Consideration can never be overdone.

2. Have a stocked kitchen...I don't know if this is just how I was raised, but I find it absolutely necessary to have all of the ingredients to make chocolate chip cookies from scratch stocked in my kitchen at all times. It makes me nervous when I'm running low on brown sugar or eggs. You never know when you're going to need some chocolate chip cookies and you don't want to be unprepared.

3. Host in your home...invite people into your home. Pray with them at your dinner table. Allow them to see pictures of your family and the things that you value enough to have sitting out on your mantle. This is more than just having friends over to watch a game. This is engaging and loving others.

4. Grow something outside...this can be frustrating in a new climate. You have to give up some of your old tried-and-true favorites and grow plants that actually will survive in your new climate. Even if you don't love the new plants, do it. Here's a picture of my hydrangea. It actually began blooming in the fall after I almost killed it twice this summer. Lesson learned: hydrangeas are known as a Southern flower for a reason...

5. Attend church...nobody should be confused that attending church assures salvation and labels you with the word "righteous". Finding a church in the Northeast may be difficult, but it's so important. Attending weekly will refresh you and encourage you, and remind you that you're not the only Christian on the planet. (A feeling I never once felt in the South)

6. Wear your cowboy boots weekly...and wear them proudly. I have found an exception to this rule...when there's two feet of snow on the ground, you should NOT wear your boots. They are NOT warm, they were NOT created for snow sludging and they will NOT last if you treat them with such disrespect. PS...how cute is Taylor Swift here?
7. Follow world news...a good Southern woman knows what's going on in the south, as well as the east, the west and the north. Do not allow others to influence you that just because something isn't occuring in the Northeast, it's irrelevant.

8. Stay true to your teams...contrary to the belief of many New Yorkers, there are other sports teams besides the Yankees and the Giants. Be loyal to them, even when they have hard seasons. Be humble winners and gracious losers...even when losing to the Yankees. And do your best to inform everyone how important college football really is to the fabric of American culture...football, not hockey. This is not Canada.

9. Write thank you notes...this will go a long way. Showing gratitude and appreciation also cannot be overdone.

10. Bake things from scratch...I know, I'm going back to the kitchen. But any good Southern woman can make many things from scratch, not just cookies. A good Southern woman in the 21st century knows which dishes are worth making from scratch, and which ones can be store-bought. This is a lifelong lesson I'm still learning and hope to be well-versed in this by the time I'm 65. Lesson learned: It's worth it to make apple pie from scratch.

While I'm sure that we have changed and grown as people since living here, I think that change is imminent no matter where you are or what your circumstances. We are still grateful for God's love and his grace. We are still comited to his will and we are so grateful that his plan for us is bigger than ours.